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OSU vs. UM Weekend! Let's go Bucks! Screw the Blue!!
"Twas the Night Before Christmas" - Buckeye style
All through the season, the critics said No!
The Buckeyes will never go 13 and 0.
Texas Tech was a joke, San Jose's program was spent.
Who cares if you stomped out those Flashes from Kent?
And for the next game the critics couldn't wait
But then the BUCKS stomped Washington St.
The fans did not fear, we just started to grin.
As the Buckeyes got win after win after win.
But the critics had doubt, they still said No Way!
Though their voices grew weak when our boys came to play.
So Krenzel stepped up, and Gamble got set;
Our trust was in Tressel, our hearts ran with Clarett.
We shut up Paterno; we silenced Purdue.
Michigan bled scarlet and gray, as we knocked out their blue.
The critics are silenced, Columbus will shout,
Throw on you, Buckeyes, erase all your doubt!
13 have been downed, only 1 more to go,
And Tempe will scream O...H...I...O!
GO BUCKS!!
Remember: In Poland they tell Michigan jokes !
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Q: Why didn't the Nativity occur in Ann Arbor?
A: They couldn't find one virgin and three wise men. - A Michigan football player was almost killed in a tragic horseback-riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Thank God the manager of the K-Mart came out and unplugged it.
- Coach Carr, to one of his linemen: "So son, what are you gonna be when you graduate?" Lineman: "Forty-one."
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Q: What's the first thing a UM grad says to an OSU grad?
A: You want fries with that?" -
Q: Do you know what the only sign of intelligent life is in Ann Arbor?
A: A road sign on US 23 South that says "Columbus 192 miles". -
Q: What is a Wolverines idea of foreplay?
A: "Hey Sis, you awake?" -
Q: What does it say on the bottom of a Coke can in Michigan?
A: "Open other end." -
Q: What is the favorite pick-up line in Ann Arbor?
A: Hey, Baby nice tooth! - A Michigan grad and an OSU grad are standing next to each other while going to the bathroom. The OSU grad begins to walk out of the bathroom without washing his hands. The Michigan grad says, "You know, at Michigan they teach us to wash our hands after we go to the bathroom." The Ohio State grad replies, "That's good, but at Ohio State they teach us not to pee on our hands."
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Q: You know how to get a Michigan alumni off your front porch?
A: Pay for the pizza. - "Tell me, Old Buck, how did Ohio first discover Ann Arbor?" "Well, son, the first intrepid Buckeye went north until he smelled it, then west 'til he stepped in it."
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Q: What do you do if you run over a wolverine?
A: Back over him to make sure. -
Q: Why do Michigan graduates hang their diplomas from the rear view mirror?
A: To justify their handicapped parking. -
Q: Why don't Michigan teams have ice on the sidelines?
A: The guy with the recipe graduated. -
Q: How many Michigan freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a second year course. - The Michigan football team was placed in a remedial English class. The professor asked the class, "Does anyone know what comes after a sentence?" All of the players raised their hands. "The appeal," they shouted with pride.
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Q: What does the average Michigan player get on his SAT's?
A: Drool. -
Q: What were the best four years of the average Michigan student's life?
A: Third Grade!
3 Guys...
These three guys go down to Mexico one night and get drunk and wake up in jail. They found out that they are to be executed for their crimes but none of them can remember what they have done. The first one is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words. He says, "I am from the University of Notre Dame and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens, so they figure God must not want this guy to die, so they let him go. The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. "I am from the Ohio State University School of Law and I believe in the eternal power of Justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." The switch is thrown and again nothing happens. They figure that the law is on this guy's side, so they let him go. The last one is strapped in and say's "Well, I'm an Electrical Engineer from the University of Michigan, and I'll tell you right now you'll never electrocute anybody if you don't connect those two wires." God rest his soul.
Bo Schembechler...
After Michigan coach Bo Schembechler passes away and enters the Pearly Gates, God takes him on a tour. He shows Bo a little 2-bedroom house with a faded UM banner hanging from the front porch. "This is your home, Coach. Most people don't get their own house up here," God exclaims. Bo looks at the house, then turns around and looks at the one sitting on the top of the hill. It's a huge two-story mansion with white marble columns and little patios under all of the windows. Ohio State flags line both sides of the sidewalk with a huge scarlet and gray OSU banner hanging between the marble columns. "Thanks for the home, God, but let me ask you a question. I get this little 2 bedroom house with a faded Michigan banner, and Woody Hayes gets a mansion with new OSU banners and flags flying all over the place. Why is that?" God looks at him seriously for a moment and then replies, "That's not Woody's house, that's mine!!!!!"